Pornography and Latter-day Saint Marriage
“When pornography is part of the story”
Pornography touches more Latter-day Saint marriages than most people admit out loud. Whether you’re the one struggling, the spouse who just found out, or a couple years into recovery, the feelings are heavy: betrayal, shame, fear, and a lot of confusion about what it means for your intimacy going forward.
We take pornography seriously, in line with Church teachings. We also take people seriously. Shame-based approaches tend to drive the behavior further underground. Compassion, honesty, and good clinical tools actually help.
What we believe
- Stay aligned with doctrine, lead with compassion. We don’t minimize pornography’s harm, and we don’t pile on shame either.
- Both spouses matter. The betrayed partner’s pain is real and deserves its own care, not just a supporting role in someone else’s recovery.
- Rebuilding trust is a process. Honesty, accountability, and patience, usually with professional support.
- Intimacy can be restored. Many couples come out the other side with a healthier sexual relationship than they had before.
Episodes on pornography
Episodes on this topic are coming. We’re planning conversations on pornography for the first season. Join the newsletter to hear when they’re out, or send us your question so we can address it.
Straight answers
I found pornography on my husband’s phone. What now?
Breathe. You are allowed to feel everything you feel. Then find support for yourself, not just for him. A therapist who understands betrayal trauma can help you figure out your next step without rushing you.
Can our marriage recover from pornography?
Yes, many do. Recovery works best when both spouses get support, honesty becomes the norm, and the couple rebuilds intimacy intentionally rather than hoping it just comes back.
Is pornography use the same as an affair?
Church leaders have been clear about pornography’s seriousness, and many spouses experience it as a profound betrayal. At the same time, treating every situation identically rarely helps. A therapist can help you sort through what happened and what it means for you.
Where do we find help?
Start with a licensed therapist, ideally one experienced with pornography and betrayal trauma. Church resources and support groups can also be part of the picture. We share specific recommendations on the show.
These answers are educational, not a diagnosis. If this topic is causing ongoing pain in your marriage, please reach out to a licensed therapist.
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