Dating, Engagement, and Preparing for Intimacy
“Preparing for intimacy before marriage”
Living the law of chastity is a real commitment, and it comes with real questions. How do we set boundaries without making everything about sex? How do we prepare for intimacy in marriage without crossing lines now? And what if one of us has a history the other doesn’t know about?
We want you to arrive at your wedding night excited and prepared, not terrified. That means talking about expectations, bodies, and what you each hope for, long before the honeymoon.
What we believe
- Chastity is about reverence, not fear. Keeping the commandment doesn’t require being afraid of your own body.
- Talk before the wedding. Engaged couples should discuss expectations, anxieties, and what they know (and don’t know) about sex.
- Boundaries are a team sport. Decide together, in daylight, what your limits are, and respect each other when one of you says stop.
- Your history isn’t your future. Past mistakes, worked through with the Lord, don’t disqualify you from a joyful marriage.
Episodes on dating & engagement
Episodes on this topic are coming. We’re planning conversations on dating & engagement for the first season. Join the newsletter to hear when they’re out, or send us your question so we can address it.
Straight answers
How do we set physical boundaries while dating?
Decide them together before you’re in the moment, say them out loud, and treat either person’s “that’s enough” as final. Clear boundaries make affection safer and more enjoyable, not less.
Should we talk about sex before we get married?
Yes. Talk about expectations, fears, what you learned growing up, and any history that your future spouse deserves to know. It’s one of the most protective conversations you can have.
What should I know before my wedding night?
That it’s rarely like the movies, that patience and humor matter more than technique, and that it is okay if it takes time. We cover this on the newlyweds topic page and on the show.
I have a past I’m ashamed of. Should I tell my fiancé?
Honesty before marriage builds the trust your marriage will run on. Share with love and context, and consider talking with a therapist about how to have the conversation well.
These answers are educational, not a diagnosis. If this topic is causing ongoing pain in your marriage, please reach out to a licensed therapist.
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