Why Latter-Day Saint Couples Need to Have More Sex (And How to Actually Do It)

About this episode

In this inaugural episode of Latter-Day Sex, Dr. Annie and Dr. Susannah, certified sex therapists and active Latter-day Saints, set out to dismantle the cultural stigma around marital intimacy. Pairing clinical sexology with gospel theology, they explain why Latter-day Saint couples need to have more sex, and how to actually get there in a way that builds emotional safety, honors both spouses, and makes room for the realities of desire differences.

If you’ve ever felt torn between your faith and your sexuality, or felt like sex in your marriage was a duty instead of a gift, this is the episode to start with.

Key takeaways

• Sex therapy is talk therapy. The hosts clear up what certified sex therapists actually do, and explain how they blend clinical expertise with gospel principles to offer a faithful, non-judgmental approach to intimacy.
• Desire discrepancy is normal, and it shifts. The “higher desire” and “lower desire” roles naturally change across different seasons of marriage. The episode offers guidance on addressing those shifts without taking rejection personally.
• Stewardship, not entitlement. The hosts reject the harmful idea that a temple marriage grants unrestricted sexual entitlement. Sex is reframed as a mutually consensual stewardship and a shared gift.
• Shame and disconnection can be healed. Many Latter-day Saint women carry past trauma, resentment, or years of pressured “duty sex.” The hosts reassure listeners that God is not a shaming parent, and that tools like sex toys do not require confession.
• The “disco ball” metaphor. Each spouse is a complex disco ball, with their own background, expectations, and quirks, trying to align and reflect light together inside a safe relationship.

Memorable moments

Questions to talk about together

Try one of these with your spouse this week. Pick a calm moment, not right before or after sex.

1. Which of us tends to be the higher-desire partner right now? Has that always been the case?
2. When I say no, what do you tell yourself about what it means?
3. What messages about sex did each of us grow up with, and which ones do we want to keep?
4. What would “sharing a gift” look like for us, instead of “meeting a need”?

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